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Ayecha? Where are you? An Elul Reckoning

Updated: Sep 13, 2022

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Ayecha? Where are you?*

I am here.

No. You are not.

Look over there!*

That won't work.

Where are you?

Ok, I am hiding.


In the baggage.*

In my baggage.

I heard your cry.*

I hoped you would.

Stand up, speak.

I cannot.

I am cowering.

The world is burning.

The oceans are rising.*

I am paralysed.

There is nothing new under the sun.*

This is new. This is total.

I am hugging my child.

Hear my cry.

You are crying too.

I cannot stop.*

Why aren't you wearing your kippah?

They keep asking me,

Can a woman wear one?

I am tired.

Of what?

The struggle.

Of not fitting in.

Who said it would be easy?*

I know.

But I want to stay here.

I want order.

I can control everything here.

Out there...

It's chaos.


Where are you?

Put your phone down.

I got distracted.

They need me.

I need you.

They are angry.


Change is needed.

The idols need to be broken.

I would rather hide.

All the hate.

We are each made in Your image.

I want that world. Not this.

Fear and grasping are holding you back.*

I try to find divinity in everything.

But I am distracted by the grasping.

If I have, it will be better.

They promised.

They lied.

I know, but the lie is comforting.

The prophetic call is too powerful.

They all say that.

Where are you?

I am here.

Where are you?

I am living in projections and stories

of what they all think.

I am stuck in scarcity.

I know.

Come back.



I am trying.

But the world is burning.

I know.

I can't stand up.

You must.

I know.

Ayecha - where are you?

I am here, with you, the lover of the marginalised, the warrior of justice.


Together we go.

Together we go.


* 'Ayecha?' The question asked of Adam - Genesis/Bereshit 3:9. I am inspired by the work of Rabbi Arthur Green (Radical Judaism), Walter Brueggeman (Prophetic Imagination) and Edmond Jabès' poem, 'At the Threshold'.

* 'Look over there!' - Drag queen, Jaida Essence Hall.

* 'In the baggage'. Here I hide with Saul as he is picked out as the first king of Israel. I Samuel 10:22

* 'I heard your cry'. Again, and again, the Torah recounts God hearing our cries.

* 'The oceans are rising.' This article floored me. Where do we go from here?

* 'There is nothing new under the sun'. Ecclesiastes/Kohelet 1:9. I search for the texts that can answer this age.

* 'I cannot stop'. God crying with us is nothing new in Judaism. See the midrash - Lamentations/Eichah Rabbah 24th Proem.

* 'Who said it would be easy?' Echoing the words of Rabbi Sheila Shulman, z"l.

* 'Fear and grasping are holding you back'. See Sister Simone Campbell (Nun on a Bus).

* 'Hineni' - this prophetic answer of 'here I am, I surrender, I am ready' is repeated throughout the Tanach. See Genesis/Bereshit 22:1 and Abraham's answer - a complicated iconoclast.

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